"Wherever it leads, there is the goal of your life, there is your destiny.
It is only there that you will find fulfillment, contentment.” ~OSHO
Suddenly my whole life changed. There was only sadness. Deep sadness and I did not want to be distracted. Grief in all pores, in all senses, in everything I did. I arrived at the low point. The loss of my father and Dallas, my doggi-boy, hurt me a lot. It was a completely new experience, but it made me mature. After one and a half years of mourning in black I realized that I will be alone someday.
Til today, I have always had someone holding my hand. First my parents and of course the society. I am from Frankfurt (Germany), but lived in the countryside. I spent my childhood well protected in an intact family. A loving family with mum, dad, brother, grandmother and relatives. A wonderful childhood, in which I got every wish fulfilled. Everyone had time for me. It has been tinkered together, played, ate, celebrated, vacationed. One unity. I am very grateful for that. Painting and being creative has always been my purpuse in life. For me, it feels like I paint longer than I speak! It always made me healthy when I was sick. I perceived nature as a healing medium. We lived at the edge of the forest and I was more there than anywhere else. Fields, meadows, gardens, streams, dunes and the sea - that was my world. Later, I discovered photography for myself. And of course I photographed the nature. But I also loved doors. Doors of old houses, carved doors. The door as a symbol? Open it and you enter another world. I always dreamed of living somewhere else on this planet. But I also dreamed of a world of peace. A world that accepts being different. The world as a family. I still wonder why borders exist. There are natural borders, barriers like oceans, mountains, lakes, etc. But what are these lines, fences and walls? They are so arbitrarily set in the landscape for me and separate people and animals. Alienated. I am often asked where I come from? Of course, the questioner wants to know from which country. But I always answer: from this world. And by that I mean not just the planet Earth, but the whole universe. Is not that terrible that wars are still going on in the movies even in outer space? The world is so wonderful. Let's share it. The atlas was my beloved book! In my visions, I first lived on the African continent. It cast a spell over me. Then I discovered Asia for me.
But there was something else: I sensed early on that there was a force in and around me that I could not describe. I was told that is God. And I started to search. I searched in Christianity and went to church every Sunday. That did not make so many kids and teens in that days! It was my very personal decision. Our church in the village was a small forest chapel. Our pastors were always very modern set and so ran the religious services. But I still did not find God there. "Our father in heaven ...". In heaven, but who was there? I started to get a picture of it. And of course it was a loving grandpa, because I had always wished for a grandpa. But unfortunately they all died before my birth. I kept looking. I dreamed of Africa, Australia, the South Seas, Asia, India. The more books and documentary films I looked at, the more I felt familiar with the culture I saw there. Have I ever lived before? In Asia? As a Hindu? Suddenly I saw so many images of gods. For everything, for every aspect of life there was a deity. Wow! It was very interesting, fascinating for me and so I studied Hinduism. I also liked the Japanese culture, Zen and Shintoism. I was still on the spiritual quest. And my search for religiosity also led me on the path of death. I wondered: Is there a life after death? What is death? This scared my mom. One day I discovered a book about Bali, the island of gods and demons. I was in love immediately! Everything I saw, read, and finally felt in this book touched my soul. There I belong! An over-green island, permeated by supernatural powers, thousands of temples, gods manifesting in nature. And yet you find these gods in the art, carved in wood and in stone, painted on all sorts of materials. Demons, witches - there is the whole underworld represented. I write that in the present form, because that is still the case! Bali, everyday life as art, everyday life in divinity. Studying the culture of Bali became my focal point. But I still had to wait to be there. Because I was still at school. High school diploma, because I wanted to study art. The closer I got to the high school graduation, the more senseless I felt this way. I became more and more silent and lived in my own world. Only my Afghan jewelry with the many bells made me in the outside world still noticeable. So I was described in the graduation newspaper after passing the final exam: The silent artist with the loud jewelry! My paintings contained more and more Asian features, including those for the school. That drew many teachers’ attention. Anyway, I was always taken out of the overall rating in art. I delivered masterpieces. My paintings always sprang from my soul. I could not paint a theme in the usual way.
Bali was a new door. This island was so incredibly far away for me and yet I wanted to be a part of it. Mum remembered that there was a Balinese shop in the city. One day we set off. And there was another door, a door into another world. A wonderland that smelled of incense sticks, candle wax, flowers and Asia. Grotesque-looking masks, lovely Buddha statues, merry Ganesha figures, dancing Shiva portraits, Lakshmi with a giving hand, Saraswati plucked her sitar and Krishna played on his flute. Garuda birds, Rawana, Wilmana, Barong and not least the witch Rangda. There was everything, just everything my heart desired. And with everything, I mean everything. Because there was also this man between all these statues of gods. It was love at first sight. At that time, I was not aware that the shop owner felt the same way. Later Hubert told me that he had been as fascinated by me as I was by him. A "schoolgirl" came to his shop and loved the gods and demons of Bali. He was particularly fascinated when I bought the little Garuda. Because this figure had a crack. That did not bother me at all. This rip meant to me that this figure was full of energy! That's what I said to him too. Wow, he thought, that's never been explained by a customer. Normally they say that the figure is broken. Mom and I visited the store almost every week. It was just too nice there. For a moment in another, mystical world. After half a year, I came alone for the first time. I stood in front of the shop and at first did not dare to go inside. But then I went through the door and it was the passage into a new phase of life. The "shopkeeper" took this opportunity right away. He asked me if I would go to the post office with him because he had to send his 16mm documentary films from his last expedition to develop. Then he invited me to cake. My heart was throbbing even more than ever!
It was the beginning of a great love. I really did everything for this love. I resisted all obstacles. There was such magic behind it, such a scent. A song to which I gave myself. I fell in love with a man who was so much older than me, older than my father. A love I did not want to give up, for which I had to use all my creativity. Hubert took me to another world. Out of the silence, into a life full of excitement, travel and joy. Oh dear, there I was suddenly in the middle of people, something, before I was always afraid. It was a shock. But the love for him inspired me. I sat on a Garuda and flew from the silent, meditative world into the noisy world of humans. But this Garuda also led me back, because my center of life was now this mystical shop, Asia and Bali. After graduation, I decided against an art study at the university. I followed my heart and traveled to Hubert to Bali. I had arrived.
Sultry hot air, permeated by the scents of the many incense sticks and Jempaka blossoms. Gamelan music. I held a small sacrificial bowl in my hand. A welcome. Selamat Datang. And now that I'm writing these words, I have tears in my eyes. Bali will always be the home of my soul, no matter what happens. This little offering, which I later gave to a Garuda, seems to me more than just a symbol today. How many offerings have I made in Bali in my life? These sacred offerings made me so creative. I sat there every night and came up with something new. Offerings have influenced me, even here in Spain they are located at “important” places in the home and of course in the store. It is not really a sacrifice, but rather something that I accomplish with awareness - full of gratitude, but also because I am aware that, for example, driving a car is dangerous. A car can become a weapon.
Bali is a magical place that I can hardly describe. Stories about gods and demons are not only told there, they are always present. They are reality. The divine, but also the underworld lives in the everyday life of the Balinese. The rice is not just a food there, but in this grain lives Dewi Sri, the goddess of prosperity and fertility. The farmers would never simply cut and harvest the rice plant. Nothing happens without prayer in Bali, and I think that's wonderful. Prayer creates a connection with the forces of nature. In the West everything has become so natural, but also secondary, profane. You just eat without worrying where the food comes from. How much effort is behind it! There is rarely any gratitude. Water just comes out of the tap, it is so precious. How nice that there is an island where you are naturally aware of it. No spring without a temple, no water pump without an offering. Bali is the island of thousands of temples and all have a specific function. I always felt very comfortable in this temple. These temples are not closed buildings but small shrines, pavilions and a lotus throne grouped around a courtyard. Of course there are also huge temples with many yards. To enter, you have to go through a gate. There are closed gates and split gates. There are passages from the mundane to the divine. The gods are not always present. Balinese temples are under the open sky and so the gods and ancestors can come and go. In the temples you will also search in vain for a statue of the gods. You can see carved figures in the walls. But these are just stories and decoration. Festivals are celebrated for the divine. For days, the temples are adorned and brought to life. The Balinese prepare for arrival. It's like meditation. First you have to open yourself, remove all obstacles to make space for the divine. The divine always knocks on the door, only you usually do not hear it, because you are full of noisy thoughts. Balinese temples mean a lot to me. I did not visit everyone. That's impossible. But surely nobody knows as many as I do. They are so different. The famous ones like Besakih, Uluwatu or Ulun Danu Batur have never been so important to me. I love the little ones on the wayside, in the villages off the main roads.
There is always a festival somewhere in Bali. Colorful ceremonies full of devotion and graceful dances, but also loud Balangajur music, wild dramas, demons and mourning.
On Bali there is a cloth called Poleng. It is black and white checkered. And that's life too. Good and evil shake hands. You cannot remove the evil, it is part of life. But you have to create a balance. Because supposedly bad things and obstacles really let us grow, good things are just nice and pleasant. Bali is famous for a dance: Calonarang. The good Barong Ketet (a sacred lion mask of 5 meters in length) fights with the evil Rangda (a witch with a long tongue and wild mane). In the end, there is neither winner nor loser, but harmony.
In my memories, I just see myself walking through the rice fields. We lived in the middle of the rice fields for a long time. I loved them. I loved watching the farmers at work. They cultivated their fields with dedication. They were so patient and frugal. And often ducks chattered among the stalks. Bali is full of rice landscapes. On photos you can often only see the rice terraces above Ubud or Jatiluwih, the granary of Bali. Without doubt, beautiful. But the whole island is green, infinitely green and you can enjoy all the other fields without bus queues and tourists. I always did that.
I also loved the markets of the locals. It is not always hygienic, but these markets are so full of life. It was always natural for Hubert and me to shop there. In Sukawati, where we lived, I was called "Nonya Ganesha" because, as you may have already seen, I wear a large Ganesha pendant. We bought everything there. From food to flowers, traditional decorations to the "Janur", these are the palm leaves with which the offerings are made. That was very unusual. The Balinese could not imagine that I mastered their craftsmanship. Basically, they thought that was great. Every Balinese is an artist. Everyone creates something, but everyone is also a medium through which the divine flows. Without the gods no activity. There are the craftsmen, stonemasons, carvers, painters, dancers, musicians, actors. On the other hand, every Balinese also makes these beautiful offerings. The women daily the small Canang bowls, but at the feasts all, including the men, tinker with the great offerings and the temple decoration.
I just have to smile. In traffic you have to be an artist! There are no rules. The street is there for everything. There children play, rice is dried, animals roam around, rolling food stalls, pedestrians, ceremonies take place on them. Motorcycle grapes at the traffic lights, motorcycles with entire families on the saddles, bicycles, over-packed with household goods or toys. In the villages, women also wash on the street. Last but not least, trucks are more like demons than people-driven means of transport. Since the driver is still the most harmless road users. Even though? They never look if anyone is coming. They just drive off, turn off. It's interesting how little happens anyway. That sounds very chaotic and not very inviting. But once you get used to it and get into that mentality, then you realize how natural this is. In Bali, cars and motorcycles are also tuned peacefully. Nobody would drive without a small sacrifice.
Another special feature is that the Balinese do not speak about the west, east, north or south. They are following their sacred mountain, the volcano Gunung Agung. This direction is called "Kaja" and depending on where you are right now, "Kaja" can be in the north, south, east or west. The Balinese cosmos is very interesting and would just blow up this text. But as you may read from these lines: I love Bali! It inspired me. I wanted to know everything about the Agama Hindu Bali. I dived deeper and began to follow this religion. You cannot become a Hindu. You have to be born as a Hindu. But with me it came from my heart.
Of course, I also traveled to other countries in Asia. Thailand, Malaysia, Laos, Cambodia, Myanmar, China, Nepal and India. Hubert introduced me to his friends everywhere.
It was self-evident to me that I also wanted to know something about these cultures. So I devoted my time to the study of Buddhism and Hinduism locally and in books. In principle, I became a "running lexicon". I just knew everything. That's why I was the one in our shop who could provide information about everything. I even knew more than locals. I could pronounce the most impossible and difficult names. During the day I worked with art and in the evening I became an artist myself. I painted. Painting with Balinese and Tibetan motifs.
Hubert and I lived between the world of Bali and Germany. But the land of our forefathers said nothing to us for a long time. Only our shop was there. And at the end of the nineties we didn't want to be there anymore. Actually, the big end-goal was always our home Bali, but a coincidence had brought us to southern Spain. I never had Spain in mind before. But I was so positively surprised! A new door! Bali Beach was a thriving arts and jewelery shop in the heart of downtown Frankfurt. But we had the courage to start afresh, guided by our hearts. I do not want to miss this experience. Sometimes I think it's important for every person to move abroad. Being a "foreigner" and experiencing how difficult it is to gain a foothold somewhere. It worked for us, on Bali, Asia and Spain. I am very grateful for that. In Spain I really became an adult. Here I learned to be the way I want to be. And what I think is great, they let me here the way I am. Nobody looks at me wrong because I'm dressed in traditionally Balinese style or wearing a bindi. On the contrary, I am addressed and there are beautiful conversations. Here is the home of joy, even if there are of course just as problems as, for example, in Germany. There is a solution for everything. If you live in a place where others spend their holidays, then people are much happier. Of course, the sun, the blue sky, the sea and the wonderful mountain landscape have a helping position. I do not feel like a foreigner here either. On the Costa del Sol, "Europe" is lived. And somehow we all talk a mish-mash between different languages and yet we understand each other. Of course with the base Spanish and English. In Spain Hubert and I found our luck. Here is so much happening. Doors opened, doors closed. Everything at the right time. And so it happened that we once said goodbye to Bali. For Hubert it was more than 50 years, for me 25 years. Everything is in motion, nothing that is real remains. The world has changed. There is no clinging. We love Bali. This island, this culture lives deep in our hearts. But we also love the freedom to be somewhere else, to open other doors.
As you may have read, I have a sanskrit name. My original Sannyas name is Ma Prarthana Nisarga. My family and friends call me Nisarga. The name means "your true nature". This means what has not been hidden by education and society. The name reminds me that I return to my origins. Prarthana shows me the way. Prarthana is the Sanskrit name for prayer. Prayer does not mean to me that I fold my hands and imitate anything learned like a parrot. Probably connected with a request or wish. Prayer is silence, joyful silence. You cannot do prayer. Prayer happens. It is the connection between existence and me, without language. In search of God, I wanted to immerse myself deeper and deeper into Hinduism. Just then I met Osho. Suddenly my whole religious world view was confused. I was totally confused. At first I was totally outraged, but something new grew in me at the same time. I forgot everything I had learned before and really started to go within. I found my master, my Guruji Osho! I decided to become sannyasin, neo-sannyasin. It's a new birth. A second birth and with this decision I also got this new name. I have lived a life of awareness for a long time and brought it into my everyday life. Sannyas was just a consequence, a sign. I do not live ascetically somewhere alone in the mountains, but in the middle of people. Only there does consciousness have value. You are "checked" every day. But it is really not easy to lead a spiritual life right in the middle of the marketplace !!!
If you want to know more about Osho, go to my page "Guruji OSHO"
Sannyas changed a lot in me. I started again. Suddenly I understood. There was understanding, real knowledge. Today, in our shop, I can explain Hinduism and Buddhism from a different angle. In my own words, own experience. Sannyas is a spiritual path. It is a path whose goal is the starting point. Basically, there is no way. There is only an awakening to the one that you essentially are. It also means letting go of what you are not, so that you can be who you are. Sadhana helps me with that. Sadhana is spiritual practice. I do not do anything that was prescribed to me. My sadhana comes from the heart, has grown in me - through awareness. As a sannyasin, it is natural for me to live a life as a transmitter of light, awakening and blessing to all in the world. I want to give, rather than take. And so I began to share my joy. I sent emails to my family and friends almost every day, in which I wanted to give them something along the way. These were personal experiences, mudras, mantras, Osho quotes, etc.
But after many, many years, I could not do that anymore. I fell silent. There was only sadness. A deep hole and I did not want to share that with anyone. For me, this time was an absolute retreat. A letting go. Suddenly I really realized that I'm alone in this world. There is only a loneliness. Previously, I had only heard about it, read it. Now it was my own experience. Until now, I always had a hand guiding me. But what if that last hand cannot hold me anymore? When Hubert is no longer there? I am aware that this is getting closer and closer. I do not want to be helpless. So it's better for me to learn to walk alone now. To bring my own voice to bloom. I do not leave anyone, but I feel the desire to build something that is close to my heart. And these are the reasons for this website. “Bali Beach” has a website based on the expeditions of my husband, Hubert Matysek. I also designed it. Hubert and I are very different, but we complement each other perfectly. Absolute harmony. His life is marked by the terrible experiences of World War II and loss of parents. But it is also shaped by the will to make something happen, to work hard, and then to have his pleasure. Hubert's life is loud, full of adventure, travel and business acumen. My life is rather quiet. It is characterized by the search for divinity and spirituality, Raja Yoga, Ayuveda, hiking in nature, traveling and the love of creativity. "Nisargas Lotus World" is my "soul website". really close to my heart. That's where my "Bali Beach" is reflected - "BALI meditation & shop BEACH" as I call it on Facebook. I wrote the pages and topics very personally. Everything was created from personal experience. So you will get to know my soul! Enjoy it!
Hari Om Tat Sat - Tat Tvam Asi!
With love and gratitude,
Ma Prarthana Nisarga
OM and Namaste!
In 2019 Mowgli came into my life and with him the joy that I had previously lost through the death of my father and Dallas. A lot of joy! Mowgli is my real Guru!!!
And it is really like Osho once said: "Wherever it leads, there is the goal of your life, there is your destiny. It is only there that you will find fulfillment, contentment.”
I am pleased that you have visited my website. I am happy to answer any questions or give you information. I am open to spiritual exchange. Please use the contact form at the bottom of this page.
From heart to heart, Nisarga
OM SHANTI SHANTI SHANTI OM
In memory of my first "furry guru" Dallas!