Experience Nisarga's Lotus World ...

let the quality of awareness enter into your being

ॐ नमः शिवाय

Om namah shivaya

OM I bow down to Lord Shiva

The One who is self-luminous, delighting in his own being OM


smeared with ash, a tiger skin, a crescent moon, a snake around the neck, the third eye, matted hair,

river Ganga flowing from the hair, a trident in one hand, a drum in the other

Siwa, Gunung Agung

the sacred mountain of Bali, a volcano as a symbol of Shiva,

destruction in the form of natural forces and the creation of new life.

Shiva Nataraja

consumed in a cosmic dance

Shiva Mahayogi

sitting still like a rock

Shiva Linga

formless, union of male and female energy, union of light and darkness, union of space and center

Shiva Vishvarupa

the whole universe as union, union of time, no past, no present moment, no future, Shiva is the energy from which everything came, in which everything is sustained and everything dissolves. There is no way of ever stepping out of Shiva since creation is made up of Shiva. Your mind, body, everything is made of Shiva. Vishwaroopa, the entire universe is Shiva.


“Shiva is not a priest. He is a teerthankara. Shiva is an avatara.

He is the seer, the paigambara. His words are like fire.

Come near him only if you are ready to be burned;

accept his invitation only if you are ready to disappear as you are.

Because, the new will be born only when you would cease to be as you are.

Not until you have turned yourself into ashes, will the new life emerge.” ~OSHO

When I decided to set up a page for Shiva on this website, I already felt that the project is not that easy. Shiva is difficult to describe, Shiva is more than just the slightly unconventional bhang-smoking, ash-smeared, dancing and yet meditating deity. Shiva is infinite, unites the apparently opposite. He is so OMnipresent, I see and feel him everywhere. This page is in no way comparable to an Internet encyclopedia, it is also not very organized, but designed and written with the heart and from the mOMent. It is more of a "book" with many short stories, just as I experience Shiva on a daily basis.

Just let yourself be inspired!

Shiva HUM - a prayer to Shiva

I feel so much gratitude for existence, so thankful to be able to breathe in the light of the divine, surrounded by the great, divine emptiness that I seek inside. And in the process of painting I feel it for a moment. When I paint, I AM, not a "Nisarga", but then I am the soul within me. I don't paint for anyone or any purpose, I let myself be guided by a light. I'm just a medium, my hands are just a tool, paint does existence, the divine. That's why I don't sign my pictures, but there is only the cosmic energy of OM. This painting was created in the light of Shiva. I kept chanting the Shiva HUM mantra that I learned from Mohani Heitel. It puts me in a state of ONENESS, peace, letting go. I see things with another eye, the third eye. The framework in which I live is dissolving. The clouds dissolve, everything dissolves into the infinity of the sky, the blue sky by day, the peaceful dark sky by night...

“Shiva HUM, Shiva HUM, Shiva HUM, Shiva HUM
Shiva HUM Pavanang, Shiva HUM Salilang
Shiva HUM Dharati, Shiva HUM Akshang
Shiva Sarvatrang, Shiva Sarvasyang
Mahakale Shiva Jivan Mulang
Namo Namami Shiva, Namao Namami Shiva
Sattya Sundare Shiva, Bhava Bhaya Harenang
Vishva Rupa Shiva, Prane Prakashang
Namo Namami Shiva, Namo Namami Shiva”
“Through the vibration of “Shiva HUM” air, water, earth and space shall be consecrated. Shiva is omnipresent and all pervading. Shiva is the great power of redemption and renewal, the base of all living. I prostrate in respect before Shiva. Shiva is truth and beauty, removes the anxiety caused by the temporal existence. His cosmic form is also the light of life. Worship to Shiva!” ~ Mohani Heitel

Perhaps the “Shiva HUM Prayer” as I call the painting may seem a bit crowded to you. But most of the time my mind is overflowing. Only when I go to prayer do I see the emptiness, the light, the fire of Shiva's divine energy, which seems infinite without beginning or end. In this energy I flow through the chakras to the third eye and for a moment also to the thousand-petalled lotus chakra. Shiva, the Adi-Yogi, the first Yogi, sitting on the Kailash, united with the female energy, Shakti, the Yoni (indicated in silver). The holy water flows down from him and makes the earth fertile.

 space - Akasha

 air - Vayu

fire - Agni

water - Apo

earth - Prthiwi

everything is imbued with Shiva, the emptiness that gives life to everything.

Shiva - dancing, keeping the cosmos moving.

Nataraja - in the cosmic Rudraksha-Mala circle.

Oh Shiva, transformer, destroyer of old patterns, You grant me protection on my way back to my source.

(The "Shiva HUM Prayer" is painted in the Balinese Kamasan style. There is no green or purple there. The world mountain itself is painted in a traditional Indonesian pattern used in textile batik making.)

Shiva HUM, Shiva HUM, Shiva HUM, Shiva HUM

I feel the redemptive power of the divine.

ॐ नमः शिवाय
om namah shivaya

from the single atom to the great cosmos,
everything is always in motion, everything changes,
it is born, preserved, transformed into a new form,
and yet there is only emptiness


a very auspicious day to meditate and be aware of all what you do

On this day a spiritual time window opens, which is called Pradosh Vrat in India. Pradosh Vrat is synonymous with something dark or late evening. When it gets dark, this is also a good time to meditate. When it gets dark it is also a good time to reflect on the divine. During the day the mind likes to go outside, but at night it is easier for it to go inside. In between you can perceive the divine everywhere. If you are active during the day then see the divine on the outside. When it is night see the divine within. Sunrise and sunset are two very magical moments, because in these phases you can see the divine outside and inside at the same time. Pradosham has three different energy levels, depending on which day of the month they occur. Each energy level indicates how much karma can be released at that time. The smallest energy level occurs every day 1-2 hours before and after sunset. The average energy level of Pradosham occurs twice a month - on the 13th lunar day after the new moon and after the full moon. Pradosham's greater energy level occurs when one of the 13th lunar days occurs on a Saturday. But tonight it's a little easier for you to bring light into your life. Pradosham is, so to speak, a gift from the universe to accelerate your spiritual growth and make your life easier and happier. Think about how the poisons of life, for example anger, jealousy, attachment and self-centeredness, destroy your joy and also (world) peace. Use the time to just go inside. Stay hOMe! Go to your very own hOMe! Shiva is worshiped at Pradosham. Shiva is a symbol of the divine. Shiva is a symbol of change. Birth, preservation destruction. Destruction of the illusions we put in our heads. Shiva is the infinite awareness that dwells in each of us. Don't forget: We are part of the whole!

On Pradosham I like to recite the Mrityunjaya Mantra, the great life-giving mantra.

 It is a moksha mantra that leads to liberation. But it is also a healing mantra that gives inner peace. This mantra can also be chanted for the deceased or as a protection against accidents.

ॐ त्र्यम्बकं यजामहे सुगन्धिं पुष्टिवर्धनम्‌ ।
उर्वारुकमिव बन्धनान्मृत्योर्मुक्षीय माऽमृतात्‌ ।

    oṃ triyambakaṃ yajāmahe sugandhiṃ puṣṭivardhanam
urvārukam iva bandhanān mṛtyor mukṣīya māmṛtāt

We worship the Highest Cosmic Reality,
radiating everywhere and bringing about the well-being of all beings.
May this supreme reality let us mature inwardly,
so that we experience supreme immortality.

I am in devotion, I am in prayer
Om Tryambakam, let us become instruments of the divine, let the divine work through us...
It was  August 2022, Mowgli and I went to the beach after Sandhya, the time, the magical time between sunset and the first glow of the stars. Suddenly the moon “looked” at us - huge and almost full. The light was so full(moon) of harmony. I couldn’t help but keep looking up at it. There was so much magic, such an attraction and the sea felt the same way as I did. It was low tide and the moon seemed to have pulled the water towards itself. It was also Pradosham, Pradosham Vrat in the month of Sawan/Shravan, so a particularly auspicious day for Shiva devotees. I had been reciting the Maha Mrityunjaya mantra, the great death-conquering mantra of the Rigveda, all day long. I also kept listening to it in the shop, sung by Deva Premal, Manose & Miten and Manish Vyas...alternating with meditative gamelan music from Bali played during the funeral ceremony there. I walked by the water with Mowgli and recited the long version of the mantra , which is a bit reminiscent of the Gayatri mantra and called Maha Mrityunjaya Mantra:

om haum jum sah om bhurbhuvah svah om tryambakam yajamahe sugandhim pushtivarddhanam
urvarukamiva bandhanannrityormukshiya manritat om svah bhuvah om sah jum haum om

I always had my eyes on the moon and the light reflected on the sea. There was so much peace, truth, awareness and beauty, satyam-shivam-sundaram- , there was the divine, the divine in its manifestation as Shiva. I felt Shiva in the reflection of the light, in the sound of the mantra that vibrated within me the longer I recited it. It was like a kind of trance and yet I was aware of everything around me, including Mowgli playing with the ball. I was open to everything, because the divine is everything. A letting go that only one can be divine. There is also the other side that belongs to the big picture. I bowed in humility to that light in the darkness that was ringing in the night. I am aware that there is a higher reality and sometimes there are those moments when I get a glimpse of it, but the real experience only comes when I am ready for it. The Maha Mritunjaya was so healing because it gave me hope that the time will come when I am finally ready to fully let go. Then there will be no more death, no mortality, no change, but only true being, true life. I walked on the beach with Mowgli and kept reciting the mantra and then I looked at the reflecting light once again, I looked up at the moon and felt so much energy in my sixth chakra, the third eye. There was so much fire, so much energy and suddenly in front of me I saw Shiva's Trishula, his trident...
I've been walking by these eucalyptus trees for over twenty years, absolutely fascinating beings, but I've never seen them as a Trishula. Shiva must have been inside me… for a mOMent. I am so grateful.

om haum jum sah om bhurbhuvah svah om tryambakam yajamahe sugandhim pushtivarddhanam
urvarukamiva bandhanannrityormukshiya manritat om svah bhuvah om sah jum haum om

I am in devotion, I am in prayer.

ॐ हौं ॐ जूं सः भूर्भुवः स्वः त्र्यंबकं यजामहे सुगन्धिं पुष्टिवर्धनम्॥
उर्वारुकमिव बंधनान् मृत्योर्मुक्षीय मामृतात् भूर्भुवः सुवरों जूं सः हौं ॐ॥

om haum jum sah om bhurbhuvah svah
om tryambakam yajamahe sugandhim pushtivarddhanam
urvarukamiva bandhanannrityormukshiya manritat
om svah bhuvah om sah jum haum om

I bow to Shiva who has three eyes
the Sun, the Moon, and the Fire
please enrich health, affluence, and endurance in me
and shield me from all fears, diseases, scarcity, and death. 

Here is the full meaning of each word of the mantra:

Om is a holy mantra and symbol in Hindu-based religions such as Hinduism, Buddhism, Sikhism, and Jainism
Tryambakam: the one who has three eyes,
Yajaamahe: we worship, adore, honor,
Sugandhim: sweet fragrant, aromatic, perfumed,
Pushtti: prosperous, flourishing, richness of life,
Vardhanam: the one who reinforce, fortify, support, strengthen, nourishes, and causes to increase
(in health, wealth, and well-being),
Urvarukamiva: like the cucumber/melon,
Bandhanan: from confinement i.e. from the stem of the cucumber, symbol for bound down,
Mrityor Mokshiye: liberate from death
Maamritat: immortality, nectar

At Pradosh Vrat, Shiva is worshiped in the form of the lingam. I have always had a very magical connection to this manifestation and have several lingams at home. Here you can see a lingam from the Pashupatinath Temple in the Kathmandu Valley, Nepal.

Brahman, the all-pervading, formless, eternal principle, manifested as Brahma, the creating principle, as Vishnu, the sustaining principle, and as Shiva, the dissolving principle. They worked well together until one day there was an argument between Vishnu and Brahma. Vishnu was of the opinion that as a “sustainer” he was more powerful than Brahma. Brahma, on the other hand, laughs and said that Vishnu would not exist without him because he would be the Creator. It started a back and forth. Suddenly a huge pillar of fire appeared. The two gods had never seen anything like it before. The two curiously explored this phenomenon. Brahma went down, Vishnu flew up with his mount Garuda. But they couldn't see a beginning or an end. The pillar of fire was infinite. Then the fire spoke: “I am Shiva, the infinite, the eternal. This pillar of fire is a form of Me. It is a lingam, a form in which I am easily found. The lingam knows neither beginning nor end. You, Vishnu and I, we are forms of Brahman, each of us has his task - creating, maintaining, dissolving. There is no such thing as 'who is better'. We have to form a unit together, not to wage a fight. "

There is a beautiful mudra that you can do:

The Lingam mudra, a symbol of Shiva

Shiva is worshiped as a lingam in India. Mostly in connection with a yoni, the Shakti energy. The Lingam thus combines not only the Trinity (creation, preservation, transformation), but also the masculine with the feminine principle. The linga mudra is a symbol for Shiva, ultimately a symbol for the aspiration up to infinity. Shiva is represented by the thumb pointing upwards, the rest of the mudra is Shakti. The masculine, fiery energy rests on the feminine energy. When you do this linga mudra you can imagine that your energy flows upward with fire and that you perceive the divine in infinity. The lingam mudra is a mudra of fire. It increases the warmth of the body and focuses on the element of fire in the body. It connects the palms of the hands and crosses the fingers, keeping one thumb upright. The other thumb and index finger surround the upright thumb. As you have already read, you can choose which thumb is your energy linga. Energy. The fire, the drive, lives in the thumb. And when the thumb is up, there is a lot of positive energy. You will notice how warm it becomes during this mudra. Breathe in and out a few times. Then recite the Shiva mantra three times and go into silent meditation.

Om Namah Shivaya Om Namah Shivaya Om Namah Shivaya

May you experience the presence of Shiva!

But the mudra is not only a symbol of Shiva, but also a healing mudra.

I learned that you can use this mudra to alleviate illnesses caused by an increase in phlegm. For example, all colds such as cough, catarrh, chest infections or bronchial diseases. This position of the fingers releases mucus that has built up in the lungs. But you have to start the practice as soon as the disease breaks out. Chronic complaints can also be healed over time. It is also very useful for people who have difficulty breathing when there is a change in time. It also increases body temperature and is especially suitable for those who never have a fever. Fever is very important as many bacteria in the body are only exterminated when exposed to a certain temperature.

But be careful: The mudra should not be practiced over a long period of time, i.e. only as long as it is needed. Otherwise, the "blazing fire" could make you restless and weaken yourself spiritually.

But do not worry, try the mudra and feel the energy of Shiva in you for a few minutes!

hari om shiva om shiva om hari om


At Pradosh Vrat, Shiva is worshiped in the form of the lingam. I have always had a very magical connection to this manifestation and have several lingams at home. One of them is in the garden. In the spring, during the strict covid-19 lockdown here in Spain 2020, I planted a natural altar around him. I didn't want to kill flowers every day to bring him as gifts. I wanted to give Shiva living flowers.

Shiva HUM


At Pradosham /Pradosh Vrat before Newmoon also begins the time when you can best connect with nature. Become aware that you are part of nature. Nature and you are constantly connected with each other in an exchange. The time between Pradosham and the new moon (I always call the lunar silence this night) is particularly conducive to this experience. The moon's gravity creates a certain level of inertia on these days, and your body and energies are much more connected to the earth than on other days because it pulls them in that direction. Go barefoot through nature! Sit under a tree. Breathe. Touch nature with your hands. Let earth trickle through your hands. Eat in nature. If you can't go outside because of the lock down, go barefoot anyway. For example, imagine that your floor is a forest floor, a dirt road, or a beach. Maybe you have plants at home. Make a prayer with the plant. Not with words, but through a soul connection.

I like to wear black around the “lunar silence”. Black is an absorbent color. The spiritual energy that I now experience in the next few days in connection with (Shiva) nature is transmitted even more intensively. But be careful with negative energy; this is transmitted in the same way for black.
Enjoy it, energy and awareness!

 ॐ नमः शिवाय
Om namah shivaya

from the single atom to the great cosmos,
everything is always in motion, everything changes,
it is born, preserved, transformed into a new form,
and yet there is only emptiness

Masik Shivaratri

The darkest night of a month is called Masik Shivaratri. The monthly Shivaratri! The time around lunar stillness favors the stability of our lower mind and allows in this way access to the higher mental state of pure perception, which can extend and connect our consciousness to the universal mind (Shiva) and making it possible to experience as a result the essential truth behind any event in our life.

The lower mind is the concrete mind, which focuses on logic, reason and fact. It is never in the present, but always in the past and future. The lower mind is the representation of our ego. Because of the ego we are limited and are separate from universal power and truth. When we are born, we are still pure and unbiased. The ego arises with education, through our desires and idols. The ego is not our original self. The lower mind houses also negative thoughts and emotions. This is the part of the mind that knows no matter how difficult the situation is, we are loved, worthy and continuously protected and guided by the divine and God. This is the part inspired by beauty, vulnerable emotions, aspirations, ideals and archetypes.

The higher mind represents the pure knowledge and the divine in us. It gives us creative power and innovative solutions. It doesn't matter how something works or arises. Only the moment is important. No reaction, but a situation-related behavior without thinking about the past or the future. The higher mind surpasses ego, transcends boundaries and holds universal truths. It is the gateway to our soul and intuition.  

Shivaratri means, “Shiva” (cosmic mind) and “Vrat” (fast). Shivaratri is a good time to come back to yourself. Forgo all unnecessary things. Fast, if only in small batches. Meditate. And let a prayer arise from it. Your very own prayer. Be yourself a gift for the universe.

I like to sing these mantras on Shivaratri. It is not the usual "Om Namaha Shivaya", but for me it reflects the meaning of the day.

om asatoma sad gamaya

tamaso ma jyotir gamaya

mrtyor mamrtam gamaya

The "Asatoma" mantra comes from the Brhadaranyaka Upanishad). It means:

Lead me from the asat(untruth) to the sat (truth).

Lead me from darkness to light.

Lead me from death to immortality

“Shiva HUM” means the redeeming power of the Divine, but it is more a vibration


Before I wrote this article, I watched the video of "rain of blessings-Ra Ma Da Sa Sa Say Sohung" from Deva Premal/Miten and when I was looking for a photo for the weeklyGanesha reminder for my beloved Sangha, I saw these  “tropical rain photos", by the way … in a few minutes everything was completely under water, but as quickly as the rain flooded everything, it drained away again quickly. This photo I made in the garden of our former house in Bali. It's one of my shivalinga. Back then I had it in the garden, today it is in my sacred space in a kind of “cave temple”. I once discovered it by chance at an artist who had made huge concrete figures. The linga was completely forgotten in a corner. I was so excited about it and asked if it was for sale. Then the artist looked at me and said: Take it with you. I made a lot of them for a festival and somehow it was left over. He was happy to be able to give it to me.

Let us recite the Lingasthakam mantra …

Brahma Murari Sura architha Lingam, Nirmala bashitha Shobitha Lingam l

Janmaja dukha vinasaka lingam, That pranamami sada shiva lingam lI

“I bow before that Lingam, which is the eternal Shiva,

Which is worshipped by Brahma, Vishnu and other Devas,

Which is pure and resplendent, And which destroys sorrows of birth.”

In Shaivism, Shiva is the highest deity, who towers above all other deities and lets them emerge from himself as well as the entire universe. Shiva is especially revered in his aspect as a linga.

Linga - the universal symbol of creation and source of everything

ॐ नमः शिवाय
om namah shivaya

from the single atom to the great cosmos,
everything is always in motion, everything changes,
it is born, preserved, transformed into a new form,
and yet there is only emptiness

Masik Karthigai Nakshatra

Masik Karthigai Nakshatra is celebrated by the Tamil Hindus and is one of the oldest ceremonies of all. The ceremony takes place every month and is dedicated to Shiva. According to Hindu Mythology on this day Lord Shiva converted himself in an endless flame of light to prove his supremacy to Vishnu and Brahma. The ceremony itself is called Deepam Karthigai. Deepam means light or flame and that's exactly how it takes place: Houses and streets are lit up with rows of oil lamps or lights in the evening of Karthigai.

Lingam at Cloister Mandapa, Brihadeshvara Temple in Thanjavur, Tamil Nadu - India

You have probably heard before that Shiva is infinite. Karthigai relates to the following story: Once, Brahma (the creator of the universe) and Vishnu (the sustainer of the universe) wanted to find the answer to the question "Who is Shiva?" They wanted to understand him "completely", until then they only saw a pillar of light, a huge flame. Brahma said: "I will swing myself on my mount (vahana), the goose (hamsa) and look for his head. Vishnu sat on Garuda and wanted to fly down to Shiva's feet. It is said that the two gods searched for the head and the feet for thousands of years without success. Brahma and Vishnu met in the supposed center where their search had started. They agreed that Shiva has neither head nor feet, neither beginning nor end. The infinity of Shiva is symbolized by the representation of a Shivalingam. Shiva means nothing, nothing from which everything was created, really everything and everything should be worshiped and respected. Everything is one. And yet I perceive Shivalingam as something dual. As Lingam and Yoni, Shiva and Shakti. Shakti is Shiva's energy that has manifested itself as awareness, awareness gives us the ability to perceive and experience. A Shivalingam is a medium to experience the true. An aid, in general as any representation of a divine energy through a figure, an image or a sanctuary is not the true reality itself, but only an aid, a medium. With intense meditation through Shivalingam, we feel that we come out of nowhere and return to the vast void.

I have had a special relationship with Shivalingam since childhood. For me it is the absolute symbol of Shiva.

Om Namaha Shivaya
Sachara Chara Para Purna Shivoham Shivoham
Nityananda Swarupa Shivoham Shivoham
Shivaya Namaha Om

I am that which prevails everywhere, complete in itself
I am Shiva, the deity of eternal bliss

Om Bhur, Bhuvah Svaha
Om Hreem Kleem Shreem Glaum Gam

salutation to Ganapati
I salute Mahadewa with the Shiva Namaskar
I salute the light of day, the sun, with the Surya Namaskar,
I light a candle to dissolve the darkness, ignorance and impurities
that I have accumulated through everyday life in this society
I overcome my inner thoughts
light, I see light everywhere,
the light of the six stars,
Dula, Nitatni, Abhrayanti, Varshayanti, Meghayanti and Chipunika,
the six faces of Karthikeya,
Tatpurusam, Aghoram, Sadyojatam, Vamadevam, Eesanam, Adhomukam,
created by Shiva, through the fire of his third eye.
I feel light, I see light, I am light a light in the chain of stars
Karthigai, the festival of light,
the festival for Shiva and his son Murugan.
Thousands and thousands of lights will shine
in South India, around the world,
gratitude, compassion and forgiveness are the lights of life.

Om Tatpurushaya Vidmahe
Mahadevaya Dhimahi
Tanno Rudrah Prachodayat

In prayer of light, Ma Prarthana Nisarga

OM Namo Namah Shivaya

I bow to Shiva, with my pure consciousness

Karthigai - thousands of lights line the houses, temples and streets in southern India tonight. And as I write temple, I remember that my body is a temple too. All the bodies in this world are temples temporarily inhabited by souls. Karthigai is a festival for Shiva and his son Murugan. I've told you the legend of Karthigai before, but as is the case in India, there are many!!! According to one of the legends, Murugan (aka Skanda, brother of Ganesha) was born on this day from the third eye of Shiva. It is said that the Murugan originated in six different parts and was raised by six nymphs namely Dula, Nitatni, Abhrayanti, Varshayanti, Meghayanti and Chipunika. Eventually the goddess Parvati united all six entities and gave form to a little boy. Therefore, Murugan is also known as Shanmugham, which means "the one with six faces". Each of its six faces has a specific name and represents qualities such as

Tatpurusam – the Face of Concealing (East)
Satyojatham –  the Face of Creation (West)
Vamadevam – the Face of Preservation (North)
Aghoram – the Face of Destruction (South)
Easanam – The Face of Revealing  (Skyward/Up)
Adhomukam  - the 6th face of Shiva (Downwards),

It is said that Masik Karthigai Deepam (that’s the Great Festival on December, 6th this year) got its name from Nakshatra Karthigai. Scientifically, it takes place when the Moon is in constellation with the constellation Karthigai, i.e. Pleiades and Pournami (Full Moon) are simultaneous, and this constellation as a group of six stars (the six qualities) is visible in the cosmic universe like a pendant on the ear.

Om Sharavana-Bhavaya Namaha

Salutations to the son of Shiva

Om - the sacred, primal sound of the universe

Sa – attracts others to you
Ra – brings prosperity
Va – removes disease, debts and other woes
Na – resolves problems with others
Bha – makes you more attractive to others
Va – stops the negativity and the influence evil forces
Ya – represents the atman, or the Self

“…And this is the beauty of candles: you can light one candle in this room, or one thousand candles in this room. The candles may be one thousand, but the light will be one. So when a disciple comes too close to the master, the candles remain two, but the light becomes one. The flames remain two. Thats why I have to make a seemingly contradictory statement: that when you dissolve into the master, for the first time you are not, and for the first time you are. You are not your old self, but now you have a new individuality. What you have lost was never yours; what you have gained was always yours, but was covered with the false. Two lighted candles will create only one light in the room. There can be two thousand, there can be two million – it will not make any difference, the light will be one. So in a certain way they will all be individuals, and in a certain way they will all be part of an oceanic existence.” ~OSHO

ॐ नमः शिवाय
Om namah shivaya

from the single atom to the great cosmos,
everything is always in motion, everything changes,
it is born, preserved, transformed into a new form,
and yet there is only emptiness

 Kalashtami- The Kalabhairav special puja day

Have you ever heard of Shiva in his manifestation of Mahakala, Kalabhairav or Mahakaleshwar? It was Kalashtami Night I read about Shiva. I've always been drawn to Shivas appearance, but something has always prevented me from going deeper and deeper into that emptiness. I always say everything has its time and since the covid-pandemic I feel like I'm ready for Shiva. In that special night I was completely immersed in the darkness of Mahakaleshwar, the ruler of time, death and the universe. My ego was gone, a dissolving...dissolving in water...and sometime in the middle of the night it wasn't just dissolving in water, I heard the water. It was so intense and it just got more and more intense. Suddenly I came back into my mind and realized it was the rain and the splashing of the pool below my sacred space...

om aim hraam kleem shri batukbhairavaya

Shiva is often referred to as the destroyer. It is his manifestation as Mahakala/ Kalabhairav/ Mahakaleshwar that represents the ultimate destructive power of Brahman and is not bound by any rules or regulations. His Shakti is the mighty goddess Kali (or Vajravetali in the Vajrayana tradition). Together they have the power to dissolve even time and space and exist as emptiness at the dissolution of the universe. They are responsible for the dissolution of the universe at the end of Kalpa. Kalpa means world period. In Hinduism, kalpa denotes the time it takes for the universe to come into being, pass away and return to the very bottom. Mahakaleshwar (like Kali) is also responsible for destroying great evils and great demons when other gods, devas and even Brahma, Vishnu and Shiva themselves fail to do so. Mahakaleshwar mercilessly ends life -humans, animals, plants, nature, the world and even the whole universe- because they are time (Kala) in personified form, time is not bound to anything and time shows no mercy, nor waiting for something or someone. That sounds very harsh and direct. But Mahakaleshwar shows us the reality quite bluntly. Since my childhood I was fascinated by the representations of the magical, destructive, dissolving forces, they are so expressive. That's what I love so much about the Balinese culture or the Tibetan Bön culture, which has flowed into Tibetan Buddhism. On the photo you can also see my own Mahakaleshwar (Tibetan form from Nepal)  of the cosmic ocean, which is formlessness and undifferentiated.

Kalashtami- The Mahakaleshwar special puja day -  is an important day for the followers of Shiva. They perform special puja of Mahakaleshwar to seek his blessings and forgiveness for their sins. On Kalashtami special puja and rituals are also offered to dead ancestors. Devotees observe a strict fast. The one who observes Kalasthami Vrat (Fast Day) is blessed with prosperity, happiness, and success in the life. It is considered auspicious to read the Mahakaleshwar Katha and chant mantras praising Shiva. There is also a custom to feed black dogs on Kalashtami as the black dog is a mount of Mahakaleshwar.  During the night, devotees also offer water to the moon and break their fast.
Kalashtami is observed every Hindu lunar month on the “Krishna Paksha Ashtami Tithi”, the 8th day during the waning phase of moon.

Swarnat Vijaya Vidmahe
Sula Hastaya Dhimahi
Tanno Kala Bhairava Prachodayath
Tanno Kala Bhairava Prachodayath
(Mahakaleshwar Gayatri)

We meditate on Bhairava holding a spear in his hand.

May He who has a dog (Svana) as a mount (Vahana) give me clarity.

Oh Bhairava, please bring me enlightenment and inspiration.

If you recite the mantra sincerely and with devotion, you will feel all negative influences dissipate.

The mantra burns away all negativity with the fire of Makakaleshwara. It also helps to create inner warmth, renewed enthusiasm and excitement. It gives you strength in times of change.

Take a fragrant flower in your hands, face east and greet Mahakaleshwar.

Rudraksha or a crystal mala are best suited for Japa meditation.

I accept that everything has its time, grateful for everything I can experience during this time.

time - darkness - emptiness

Mahakala is a dimension of Shiva, or that which is not. The word Kala means Time, Darkness and Emptiness. Kala is time but what is time? When I think about it, I only feel time because it is tied to certain things. For example, the day describes the course of the earth around its own axis. I love looking at the moon and every day at the same "time" I see it in a different place, in a different form or sometimes not at all. I perceive time through the daylight and the darkness of the night. Don't you know that? Oh, dark again? Day gone? This steady game. But Kala is also darkness. When I walk on the beach at night, I see the infinite space. I'm so drawn to this space that seems timeless. Only the lights of the stars, the reflections of the light on planets or the moon tell me that there is movement and therefore also time. But the space itself is dark and empty. I feel Mahakala in the night. Even though he looks so fierce, has a demon head, he doesn't scare me. I feel safe in this manifestation of Shiva. Mahakala is a protective deity, a kind of bodyguard! However, I feel that I don't see Mahakala as a force that protects me from external influences, but rather from my own negative thoughts if they arise! It protects me from my own ego, from my inner enemies like greed, lust, anger and all other negative emotions.
Mahakala - time, darkness, emptiness

- time is fleeting, the little kala bell reminds me of that -

the sound is still there at the moment, but dissolved in space the next.

Everything dissolves in space, everything becomes emptiness, Shiva, there is no beginning or end.

2022-07-20 Kalasthami 03
2022-07-20 Kalasthami 03
2022-07-20 Kalasthami 02
2022-07-20 Kalasthami 02
2022-07-20 Kalasthami 05
2022-07-20 Kalasthami 05

When I posted this text in the Gayatri Sangha it was Kalasthami in the Hindu month Sawan, a very auspicious "time" for Shiva devotees. Kalasthami is always the "date", when I wear black and instead of Shivoham

ॐ Shivoham ॐ

I constantly recite a Kalabhairawa (Mahakala) mantra until "lunar silence", new moon.


Mahakala is typically visualized as black in color. Everything is absorbed and dissolved in darkness, in black. All forms merge into Mahakala. Black of Mahakala thus stands for total silence - the original state of the universe. All my ignorance dissolves in Mahakala when I surrender to it. Right now it's just a moment, but it's happening more and more. Everything that is not "ME" burns to ashes. What remains is my real ME, my original state, my nature, yes Nisarga. That is the meaning of my sannyas name. The darkness of   Mahakala is nothing but total silence, The darkness of Mahakala is nothing but total stillness,                                                                           the stillness deep within me, the primordial state of all being, of the whole universe.
That day I laid a mandala, with dark leaves, decorated Mahakala, Linga and Shiva with flowers and connected to this magical, powerful energy. In the night I smashed the coconut in front of my lingam in the garden. It is the symbol of the STOP, a stop to the world of thoughts buzzing around in the mind. The coconut is synonymous with my head and indeed, whenever I do that,

everything becomes still, empty, Shiva Mahakala.

ॐ नमः शिवाय
Om namah shivaya

from the single atom to the great cosmos,
everything is always in motion, everything changes,
it is born, preserved, transformed into a new form,
and yet there is only emptiness

Sawan Somwar Vrat

Sawan is a very holy month in Hinduism. Sawan, also called Shravan, is dedicated to the powerful, meditative, transformative deity Shiva. Sawan is an auspicious month in which devotees of Shiva fast and pray to him every Monday (Somvar) to ensure prosperity and happiness in life.

But as you know, I don't do it that way. I'm not "begging" for anything, I'm just thanking for whatever the Divine is giving me. Even what appears to be negative turns out to be a gift because it allows me to grow – spiritually and wordly. By the way, every Monday is dedicated to Shiva, but the four Mondays during Sawan have a very special aura. The word "Somwar" has its roots in the Sanskrit word "Soma" meaning "Chandra", the Hindu deity of the moon. Shiva wears a crescent moon in his hair and is therefore also called Someshwara, the one with the moon. And "Monday" is also dedicated to the moon, right? Sawan Somwar Vrat is not just fasting, it's a day of celebration and prayer. In the morning I lay always a mandala of flowers and leaves. A nine-petalled lotus mandala, the Balinese Nawasanga, for all cardinal points, each dedicated to an aspect of the divine. In the center sits Shiva (The Frangipani Flower), in the north is Vishnu, in the south is Brahma. All other directions are manifestation of Shiva. For me it is a “thank you”, but also a kind of awareness that everything comes together in the lotus flower. I am aware of all energies of the Divine and become one with it in my meditation and everyday life. I decorated my Shiva statues, my Shivlinga in the house, in the garden and in the shop. Throughout the day I listened to Shiva mantras and kirtans. Usually the Maha Mrityunjaya mantra is recited, but somehow the OM Shiva HUM escaped my lips. And so I recited this short mantra with all my heart, very slowly, emphasizing the bija seed syllables.

 You can read about this holy month and all its meanings on the internet. I just want to share my own experiences with you here. I'm going to be living purely satvic this month, which isn't too difficult for me as it's my lifestyle anyway. But I will make it even more conscious. I will also extend the Somwar Vrat days by twelve more. Actually, only unmarried women who wish to have a good husband with it do this (like Parvati wanted Shivas to have as her husband). But I see it as devotion to the energy of Shiva, becoming one with this energy that created the universe, the infinite emptiness. Shiva embodies so many aspects, so seemingly contradictory and yet coherent.
I will recite the powerful Shiva Yajur Mantra. This mantra is as pure as a white lotus. It leads to a spiritual ecstasy.
karpūragauraṁ karuṇāvatāraṁ
sansārsāram bhujagendrahāram
sadāvasantaṁ hṛdayāravinde
bhavaṁ bhavānīsahitaṁ namāmi
sadāvasantaṁ hṛdayāravinde
bhavaṁ bhavānīsahitaṁ namāmi

I bow to Shiva
the one who is as pure and white as camphor,
the personification of compassion,
the one who is the essence of the world,
the one with the serpent king as his garland.
I bow to Shiva,
Who residing in my lotus-like heart, the place aloof from worldly affairs, pure as I was once born.
I bow to Shiva
accompanied by the Goddess Bhavani (Parvati),
I bow to Shiva,
that which is not, to the emptiness,
Shivoham, Shivoham
I am Shiva, I am consciousness.
In true prayer, Nisarga

Sawan, it is also the month when the preparations for the great Ganesha Chaturthi festival begin. Oh my beloved Ganesha. I'll be making another clay statue over the next few weeks that Ganesha's spirit will slip into. At the end of August it will be time, Ganesha will visit the believers. A festival, a great spectacle and at the end all the clay figures are handed over to the water. Ganesha will dissolve in the great wide ocean...until next year...

 ॐ नमः शिवाय
Om namah shivaya

from the single atom to the great cosmos,
everything is always in motion, everything changes,
it is born, preserved, transformed into a new form,
and yet there is only emptiness

Vaikuntha Chaturdashi

Om Namo Namah Shivaya

 Om Namo Bhagwate Vasudevaya

Vaikuntha Chaturdashi is a very sacred and very special day in the Vedic calendar because Shiva and Vishnu are worshiped on the same day. This happens only once a year. According to the Shiva Purana, on the auspicious day of Kartik Chaturdashi Vishnu went to Varanasi to worship Shiva with a thousand lotus flowers. But when Vishnu offered the lotus flowers, he noticed that the thousandth lotus was missing. Now you're going to think, well, that doesn't really matter, but Vishnu had promised to come with a thousand lotus. You may not know this, but Vishnu's eyes are compared to lotus flowers and with devotion he plucked one of his eyes and offered it as the thousandth lotus. Shiva was touched and restored Vishnu's eye. Out of gratitude he also gave him the lotus chakra, one of the most powerful weapons. Since then, the Sudarshana Chakra has been one of the most important attributes of Vishnu.
On Vaikuntha Chaturdashi, Shiva is worshiped early in the morning while Vishnu is worshiped at midnight. Vaikuntha Chaturdashi is also the only day of the year when Vishnu is honored in the Most Holy Shiva Temple in Varanasi. Interestingly, the devotees offer Shiva Tulsi leaves (actually a typical Vishnu offering) and Vishnu Shiva's Bael leaves. It is a ritual performed by the devotees, but it is actually a symbol of the two deities honoring and respecting one another. By the way, Vishnu is also Shiva's best friend!

I like this ceremony because it shows the respect that the two deities show towards each other. It's a celebration of devotion, but also a reminder to keep your promises, even if it takes sacrifices. When I let this story go through my heart in the hot bathtub one day before the festival, I felt a completely different meaning. Although Vishnu is a deity, symbolically he stands for the preservation of life, but somehow spiritually also for a horizontal plane in which there is no growth to a higher level. Security, preserving the old, the everyday. To grow spiritually I have to risk something, I have to overcome my ego, all my fear, I have to give everything like Vishnu gave his eye. Only in this way can I experience light, the light that leads me into the infinite mystery.
The lotus flower not only symbolizes purity, but also the origin of the universe, the origin of being. A beautiful metaphor. When I see the light, when I absorb the light, I return to my origin. Therein lies the mystery. I don't need to embark on a great journey, there is no path, only devotion and an introspection.

Shivasya hridayam vishnur - Vishnoscha hridayam shivah
Vishnu is the heart of Shiva and likewise Shiva is the heart of Vishnu.

next Vaikuntha Chaturdasi: 2023, November 25th

ॐ नमः शिवाय
Om namah shivaya

from the single atom to the great cosmos,
everything is always in motion, everything changes,
it is born, preserved, transformed into a new form,
and yet there is only emptiness

Dev Diwali

Dev Diwali is celebrated on the Ganges in Varanasi/India. It is one of the most important festivals. Thousands and thousands of lights burn on this auspicious evening and colorful floral rangoli adorn the entrances of temples and houses. It falls on the full moon of the Hindu month of Kartika (November - December) and takes place fifteen days after Diwali. On Diwali Lakshmi is worshiped, Dev Diwali commemorates Shiva's victory over the demon Tripurasura. Therefore the full moon is also called Tripurari Purnima.
According to Vedic mythology, the demon Tarakasura had three sons, Tarakaksha, Vidyunmali and Kamalaksha. They formed a unit and were known as the Tripurasura Demon. Tripurasura began a severe penance - millions of years! This troubled all beings and gods. But With his severe penance, Tripurasura impressed the creator deity Brahma and asked for immortality. Neither men nor gods should be able to kill him. Totally blinded, Brahma granted him this wish. After Tripurasura received the blessing, he got great power, completely fearless. And so he wreaked great havoc and caused mass destruction. He even went to the sacred Mount Kailash, where Shiva resides with his family, to destroy it. Of course, Shiva wouldn't let that happen. And so began the battle between Shiva and Tripurasura. Despite the blessings, Shiva (as Kalabhairava) was too powerful for the demon and world order was restored.
Although it is the festival celebrating the victory of Shiva over demons, all gods are worshiped on Devs Diwali, especially the goddess Ganga, who flows from the hair of Shiva. In the end, all deities are just different aspects of the great divine.
The Vedic stories always sound very cruel. Wars, fights, but basically they're just pictorial representations of our wandering minds. That's how I feel this. There is so often darkness within me that I transform back into light through awareness. Light is none other than Shiva. Shiva is liberation and transformation. Shiva is liberation from natural laws, detachment from everything. Shiva is a power within me that I must be ready for. Am I ready for this? I'm on my way.

Last Dev Diwali I laid in the morning a rangoli as a token of welcome. Each flower, each leaf appears six times. I combine it with the Shiva Sadakshara Mantra, consisting of the cosmic OM and five syllables.

NA MA SI VA YA, these are the five elements.

NA gives me the strength of the earth,

MA makes me flow like water,

SI awakens the fire in me,

through the VA of the air I realize my true imperceptible nature

and YA gives me the space.

In the night I had lit the candles arrount of the formless representation of Shiva, the Shivlingam, six for the Shiva Sadakshara Mantra and one (yellow) for Mahadeva. I did not  worshiped a deity, but connected with the ecstatic-meditative energy. . I was open up to Shiva... quietly, meditatively, not loudly or with firecrackers, as it is the case in Varanasi. For me …Shiva was silence.

ॐ नमः शिवाय
Om namah shivaya

from the single atom to the great cosmos,
everything is always in motion, everything changes,
it is born, preserved, transformed into a new form,
and yet there is only emptiness

I made this Shivlingam in the auspicious month of Magha, where every day is a holy day, just before Maha Shivratri. In the Magha month it is important to bathe in the Ganga river. Well, unfortunately I didn't get there, but symbolically I had connected with Gangga...

Shiva is mostly worshiped in the "non-form" of the Shiva Lingam. It really is a powerful symbol that has always cast a divine spell on me. A Shiva Lingam symbolizes the unity of Shiva and Shakti. The unity of all supposed opposites and cancels them out, because in true reality they don't exist at all. Shiva Lingam is a symbol of the Divine and when I connect with it, this energy flows into me. My task is not to keep this energy for myself, but to share it with all living beings. And this unconditional sharing full of devotion leads me back to the highest. In the Magha 2022 I made a small Shiva Lingam out of clay and later painted it. And if you look at it, you see water on it. Somehow the image came to me that Shiva's Ganga (the river) flows out of Shiva's hair. You have probably already seen this in the seated depiction of Shiva. And so the holy river flows out of my Shiva Lingam at the back. The river is a symbol of life, BEING in the flow, everything that lives is constantly in flow, in change, it is born, it lives and will change again.

Om Namah Shivaya Namah Shivaya Hara Hara Bole Namah Shivaya

Ganga Dhara Shiva Ganga Dhara Hara Hara Bole Namah Shivaya

Om, salutations to Shiva,who is also called Hara.

Salutations to Hara,the destroyer.

Hara eliminates the of miseries of the world

and the ignorance,fear and doubts present in the mind.

By destroying these external and internal negativeness,

he establishes confidence and blesses with happiness.

Therefore he is the known as the ever auspicious Lord Shiva.

Salutations to Ganga Dhara,

the one who bears Ganga Devi on his forehead.

The story of Shiva and Ganga follows soon...

ॐ नमः शिवाय
Om namah shivaya

from the single atom to the great cosmos,
everything is always in motion, everything changes,
it is born, preserved, transformed into a new form,
and yet there is only emptiness